Love ...

Big sister love ....

Little sister love ....



Baby love ...

Mom's day off .... LOVE!!!

Brother love?

Challenge

Having a week (or so ... !) of being challenged by my own stinking attitude when it comes to kids and being overwhelmed by attachment issues, complaining, lack of gratitude, you name it.  It has been long enough, I think, that these behaviors should be starting to subside a little.  My "look-the-other-way, cut-you-a-LOT-of-slack, make-excuses-for-you" mode has, well, ended.  Almost one year has passed and what I realize about me is that I am patient, but not really extra-patient.  I'm done.  Over it.  Ready for everyone (everyone!) to pull up the boot straps and fall in line.  Done with the lazy approach to learning, done with acting as though you're on a long vacation and it's the job of some in this family to serve your every whim and complaint.  Done, done, done.  I know you can do better than that.  I expect you to do better than that.  You owe it to your birth mom to do better than that.

 

Which lead me to feeling utterly justified in catering to my flesh and my desire to unload "with both barrels" (as my mom used to say).  Not a good place from which to start - tired, irritated, filled with some not-so-nice thoughts as to your behavior and just what I'd like to do if I hear it one more time.  Nope.

 

And then, when I was knee-deep in my feeling justified and forming the words for the very next opportunity that arose, I came across this ...

 

 

Took the wind right out from under my attitude.  Ugh.  Slowed down my beating drum of anger and 'doneness' and made me think.  I really, really felt justified in my sin abounding.  Wanted to not only live in it, but get right down and wallow in it.  And, to be honest, there have been days when I did just that.  It felt pretty good for a minute or three.  And then, it didn't.  It felt a lot like NOT walking in newness of life.  It felt a lot like death.  Death of relationship, death of a happy home, death of safety to speak up, death of my heart when I see the look of pain that comes from me acting on the conversation in my mind, and death of a child's heart and trust when a not-so-happy-mama unloads "with both barrels".

Sometimes God uses a seven-year-old little boy to do his bidding.  So thankful He does.

Thirteen

I have been so negligent with the blog these past few weeks!  So much has happened - birthdays (5 of them!), swimming for the first time (an experience none of us will forget!), the first summer at the lake for all 13 of us, lots and lots of cooking, gardening and canning, and visits with friends new and old.

 

It's late and this mama is headed to bed, but I wanted to post SOMETHING to get me back in the swing of blogging.

Here are a few photos of Jesse on his 13th birthday.  The boy loves his bicycle.  He's growing up and growing into such a neat young man.  He started basketball conditioning with Isaac this summer preparing for the long season coming up in October.  He's been taking guitar lessons . . . more on that later . . . and really loves church.  We were talking about tithing tonight and he said, "Mom!  EVERY Sunday I want to take dollar to church.  When I get there, I forget and then I almost cry."  Sweet, sweet boy. 

I have so many posts and photos to share.  Some fun, some funny, some serious, some informative and hopefully helpful to someone.  If there's anything you'd like to ask or know about large family life, homeschooling, and/or adoption of many and older children, please feel free to ask.  I could use a few good prompts to get me writing again!

I'm knee deep in planning for the upcoming year with ELEVEN students!  Feeling pretty good about what's to come and praying for a good year.

Adoption is beautiful, but also stretching in ways we could have never imagined.  Just when we feel like we've figured something out, a new issue arises.  No sleeping on the job around here!

Hope you're all surviving the heat!

Dirty Opportunity

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

- Thomas Edison

Oh, I so love spring and the WORK of getting a garden ready. Soccer mom, me? Not on your life. Give me dirt and lots of it and a boat-load of kids and I am in my element. Shiny happy dirty faces all around and hearts full of HOPE for what is to come of their effort. If there is a better lesson or more life-giving task for kids than gardening, I am sure I can't think of one. Life and death, work and reward, sowing and reaping . . . tend to your life's soil and keep it fertile or neglect it and let it grow all full of rocks and weeds. Oh, the parallels I can draw during a day in the dirt! They listen . . . Some roll eyes, "MOM! Do you have a metaphor for EVERY single part of gardening???"  Some laugh, "Does it really say THAT in the Bible???"  Some are quiet and ponder the lesson. All take it in. I know this because I knelt in the dirt so many years ago with my mom and dad. Learned just about everything I've ever needed to know there.


This year, we are growing more than vegetables and fruit. And the work of it all is intense and good and who would have guessed that this gardening would also grow a family. Here, the new kids can show their stuff. For this is their element too - farming and living off the land. You can almost see the relief rise up in them. They know dirt. Love it too. This has helped them remember Africa and call back good memories of mother and father and a family that was. It has also helped them heal and create memories of a family that is to be.  It has helped brother bond with brother and sister with sister.  It has made small ones feel important and oh, so big.  Truly, every single person has an important part to play.  A level playing field here, and all bets are off as to who is M.V.P.  Just might be the wee one picking up rocks.  :-)

We are working swift and sure, growing and saving and storing away for winter.  Building a farm that will hopefully build character and integrity and profit of many sorts.

Pulling up the overalls and preparing for the opportunity to come . . .

Firsts

This week we celebrated Ben's birthday. His first ever birthday cake, first ever birthday gifts, first ever LOUD and joyful rendition of "Happy Birthday".   It was a very good day.

The weather was nice so we spent the afternoon outside taking photos and waiting on Dad to get home. 

Susannah, trying her best to persuade me to slip her a cupcake before the party . . .  hard to resist.

Ava and Zane . . . waiting on the rest of the crew to show up for a group photo  . . .

Georgia . . . just up from her nap and so.very.happy. that cake was in her near future!  Love the wild bedhead.  :-)

Olivia . . .  it is such a joy to see her grow into a beautiful young woman.  She's usually the one behind the camera, but I caught her off guard this day and captured a really great shot of who she is.

Phoebe . . . silly, exasperating, LOUD, energetic, full-of-life Phoebe.  Proof of one of three things:  God has a really interesting sense of humor . . . OR . . . He has way more confidence in my ability to parent than I do . . . OR . . . He's sent a special little girl to show me my weak spots.  She will either be the death of me or help me become a much, MUCH more patient woman.  Anyone want to make a wager?

And, the rest of the crew . . .  Oh, my  heart.  I love each and every one of them so much.  It has been an indescribable privilege to see them grow up, and now to see them stretch and grow and welcome each other as brothers and sisters.  God is good.

The day was really great and Ben, well, the boy was beside himself with excitement in anticipation of opening all those gifts.  In our family, all of the kids go on a shopping trip with me to pick out gifts for the birthday boy or girl.  They each get a $5.00 budget and get to be as creative as possible with that money.  Surprisingly, they pick out some really great stuff.  This is when being in a big family REALLY pays off.  You're guaranteed 10 sibling gifts AND gifts from Mom and Dad!  Makes all those annoying siblings totally worth it.  :-)

Lovin' being in the birthday seat and wearing the hat . . .

This year, some of them decided to pool their money and buy something bigger. Ben LOVES soccer and will start his first ever soccer practice for his first ever team next week, so soccer gear was on his list. (So was a motorcycle.  The boy has expensive taste and isn't afraid to tell us. His dad replied with, "I have three letters for you pal . . . J - O - B!") 

First practice next week and he's dying to lace up the cleats and strap on the shin guards.

And the best gift of all?  His first ever bicycle.  Oh, to be able to hold the memory of his face when he laid eyes on this.  Not sure there's ever been a happier boy.

There Was an Old (ish) Woman Who Lived . . .

Today was a beautiful day and a first-time-ever celebration.  More on that tomorrow, but thought I'd share our first candid photos of all the kids together.  Wow!  A lot of kids and oh, such fun.  These aren't the greatest, but it's a LOT of work to get eleven to kids to look at the camera all at once.  Smiles . . . well, almost everyone cooperated.  A certain little boy was ticked off that he had to stand one step below a certain little girl.  Up until today I'm pretty sure he was certain he was older.  :-)  

Luckily, he doesn't hold a grudge for long.  :-)

And Now For Some Humor!

As the days march on, we are settling well into a new routine.  Different forever than the old one, but not bad.  Just different.  Luckily, we are finding humor in things that otherwise may just push us all over the edge.

Things about America that African children find amazing:

1.  Washers and dryers.  Who knew?  All of the kids are fascinated by the bizarre American custom of throwing dirty clothes into a deep, dark hole in a large metal machine and having them come out sometime later (after much churning and spinning) wet and clean.  "MOM!  What???"

The dryer . . . rates even higher however.  Pulling warm clothes and towels out and holding them up to their faces just about did them in.  How is this possible??? they seemed to ask with their expressions.

It has also become a game for them as dirty laundry goes in and then comes out sometime later - warm and dry and smelling like Downy - to see if they can identify the owner of each item.  Phoebe especially, likes to stand right.up.in.the.dryer. when I'm trying to unload it and shout out with such excitement, "MOM!!!  Phoebe!!!",  "MOM!!!  Eliza!", "MOM!!!! Olivia!!"  (Which sounds like "O-Lee-Vee-Uh")  This is cute for about the first two minutes.  Then, after the first FIVE minutes or so and after about the tenth load . . . not so cute.  I have to keep reminding myself that she is taking such joy in what is such a mundane task for me.  It has actually helped me enjoy doing laundry.  Such wonder and pleasure in such a simple thing.

For Ben, our most mechanically inclined, these two machines completely captivate him.  When I'm in the kitchen, content knowing that the laundry is clipping along, my bliss is interrupted by the ringing of bells on the dryer.  I tiptoe down the hall and see him open the dryer door, close it, push any and all buttons and re-start the dryer on all different settings.  This little dance may happen five or six times in a five minute period.  He is dead-set on figuring out how this thing can be responsible for such magic.  Some days, I open the dryer and find his wet and muddy snowpants stuffed in with a load of clean and almost dry towels.  OR . . . I open the washer and find a load of clothing - already washed - sharing space with wet, muddy jeans. 

I started noticing that my go-to washer settings - Load size: Super, Temp: Hot, Task: Heavy Duty Wash - were mysteriously changed when I went to take a load out.  The dials now read such ridiculous things as Load size: Small (this has NEVER happened), Temp: Cold (very rare) and Task: Rinse Only.  The first few times I thought either I was losing it or the machine was malfunctioning.  I'm slow.

Utterly fascinated . . . but not yet comprehending the process!  Ha!  :-) 

2.  Ice.  Who knew?  Two love it . . . two hate it.  "Mom!!! (always with a LOUD volume and ended with an exclamation point!)  Water!  ICE!!!"  . . . or . . . "Mom!!  Water!  NO ICE!!!"

Also included in this category is ice cream.  I know this will sound so cruel, but I cannot tell you how utterly hilarious it is to witness someone's first popsicle headache.  And even MORE hilarious to see it happening to FOUR people at the same time!  :-)  Sick, I know.

3.  Volume controls.  Up.  Down.  Up.  Down.  "Um . . . Isaac . . . could you please go and see what exactly is going on in there?" 

This fascination also applies to remote controls of any kind.  Take the batteries in.  Take the batteries out.  Push all the buttons.  Hold it up to the ear to see if it makes a sound. 

Week number two, Zane came marching up the stairs from the basement - Jesse and Ben left in his wake - shouting at full volume, "YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM EVER TOUCHING THE REMOTES AGAIN!!!!!"  Followed by, "Mom!!!  Do I have authority over them???  They are touching everything and now they have PERMANENTLY ruined the XBox!!!"  Did I mention he is six?  He has no fear and thinks it is his sole purpose in life to point out to Jesse and Ben all the ways they are NOT acting like normal Americans. 

The unforeseen gift in this is that all of the kids, while completely annoyed at many and different points throughout the day, have also found great humor in it.  All 13 of us have had SUCH moments of side-splitting laughter over the silliest things.  It has helped us see how things that seem normal to us are completely weird to the new kids and we all just LAUGH.  And then we fall on the floor and laugh some more. 

And truly, laughter is THE best medicine for healing and growing.

Cuteness and Fun on a Warm Day in . . . January?

Yesterday was long but good and while still thinking through Part 2, I thought I'd post some photos of our day.  Such a strange, glorious block of weather we've been having.  I think it was almost 55 degrees.  Midwest, middle of January, should be snowy and COLD.  We are ALL really glad it's not!  :-)

Right hand woman.  :-)

Have a great day!

Quick Update

I have so, so many thoughts and feelings swirling through my head and heart these past few days.  Still trying to process and write them out in some coherent manner.  As soon as I can find 5 minutes to do that, I will share with you here.  Adoption before kids arrive is such a consuming experience of anticipation.  After . . . well . . . after is where reality sets it.  Raw, real, heartbreaking, heart-exploding-full-of-love reality.

For now, the kids really enjoyed the brief snow day.  Woke up to a blanket of white exclaiming, "Beh REH doh, beh REH doh!!!"  (Sounds like bear- REH-do with the 'r' rolling off the tongue like a Spanish 'r'.)  We're pretty sure they've never actually seen or felt or tasted snow, but have heard about it and seen photos from traveling families who have visited the Transition Home.  Pretty cool to see it their first week home.

Phoebe hamming it up for the camera.  Loads of personality.

Ben.  This boy spent the ENTIRE day outside.  When the snow got boring, he came in, put on shorts, went back out and rode a bike for about 3 hours straight.  He and Jesse spent two full days - no breaks - teaching themselves to ride a bike.  They'd never seen or ridden one, but for some reason their image of America included bikes and they couldn't wait to give it a try.  After two days, lots of falls, and incredible tenacity, they both mastered it. :-)

 

And then we have Georgia.  Or Cindy Lou Who as we like to call her.  Not amused with her sister pointing the camera at her endlessly.  A twelve-year-old trapped in a two-year-old body.

Happy 16th Anniversary!!

Hi everyone!  This is Olivia, the daughter of the woman who writes on this blog!  I wanted to let you all know something very special.  Today is my parents' 16th wedding anniversary!!  Rather than my mom tell all of you, I "hacked" into her blog to tell you first!  This is from me and the rest of the crew, as we are called.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away."   I Corinthians 13:4-8

                     

Mom and Dad, you are the best parents kids could ever wish for and we love you so much!  You have gone through married life with all of us right there behind you.  I don't know if that is completely a good thing or not, but we are glad we are able to celebrate with you today!  We love you!!!





p.s. My mom is wishing for more followers!  Could you consider hitting that "follow" button for her?  I'll help her post more often!

Love,

Your Kids

Carp-e Diem??

As we wait for winter to go away for good, the kids are going stir crazy with cabin fever.  The pond is full, thawed and ready for canoeing and seemingly, a little fishing???

This weekend, oldest son and a buddy headed out for some adventure.  This included among other things, cutting off a piece of their boxer shorts to start a fire out in the woods (these boys are resourceful!), shooting airsoft rifles and going down to the pond to see what they could see. 

Our pond is basically a glorified mud puddle.  It was completely dried out this summer except for a small little area that is a little deeper than the rest.  Seriously, we were walking around down there this fall and having nature hikes IN THE POND.  Like, IN it.  Dry as a bone.

Somehow, do not ask me how, they found these three beauties floating along the side.  Seems they were probably frozen over the winter and were thawed 'loose' by the warmer weather and snow/rain.  Now, I cannot tell you how shocking it was to see these huge and VERY smelly fish.  Carp, I'm told.  Who knew?  All the time we've lived here we have never seen a fish, never even considered they could be there as the pond has dried up twice since we've been here.

Turned out to be a really great day for a couple of 13 year old boys . . .



 This is the hand of our 11 year old for a size comparison. Rob's foot is just to the right.

Hope you all have a great week!

What We Do While We Wait - Part 2

We play . . .


Waiting for forms to come back can be so hard, but we have tried to keep busy and have fun at the same time.

Baby Girl had her first birthday this summer and it was so fun to see her eyes light up when she saw her cupcake and candle. We have cherished this time with her in her babyhood and while we are anxious beyond words to bring our new children home, we are glad to have the time to watch her grow.





We've also had a great time at the lake this year. It's a great family getaway. No t.v., no internet, sketchy phone service. Strangely, we never miss them. The two younger boys have taken to the water and Son #2 has had a blast knee-boarding and kayaking. Even though he's only 5, he just hopped in and took off. He's a better paddler than some of the older kids!

And yes, we even had fun watching the hay being cut and baled. The younger kids have been playing "King of the Mountain" and other made up games. Next year we hope to have a barn built and to be baling our own hay. Sounds like a great job for dad and almost-teenage son! :-)

We hope you all are taking some time to enjoy friends and family this summer!