tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6906241439681463427.post4966273169713209684..comments2023-05-04T08:53:09.349-04:00Comments on Olive Shoots & Muddy Boots: Willing Hearts and Walkin' ShoesThomas Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05385997148235545558noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6906241439681463427.post-1662609918231166792010-06-10T00:05:34.884-04:002010-06-10T00:05:34.884-04:00We have tried different approaches over the years ...We have tried different approaches over the years and modified those with different kiddos. It is a constant training/re-training process as they and we are just plain ol’ sinful people. I will say that it is WORTH IT to be diligent. They are great kids for the most part and the time spent training is not lost – on them or us.<br /><br /> <br /><br />First, you have to lead by example. I get into the worn-out, complaining mode sometimes and I can totally see it trickle down to the kids. The old ‘if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’ is so true. <br /><br /> <br /><br />For some practical consequences, we talk to them about what we are called to as Christians – peacemakers, not to stir up strife, etc. Reading Proverbs with them each night is a great way to draw attention to a lot of behavior issues and God’s expectations. Once we know they get that, when they are NOT being peacemakers or intentionally stirring up strife, we have different consequences. I almost never allow a child to run away in anger or go to his or her room in anger. I am militant about making them face and deal with the situation and make amends before walking away. If that takes a cooling off period, they have to do it nearby and then come back and own their part, apologize and acknowledge how they hurt the other sibling and then forgive. There is almost never a time when they both weren’t to blame in some way so all of those elements are present for both kids in the situation. It is really important to try to get them to see their heart issue in the disagreement or intent to cause trouble. You have to keep getting them back to the heart issue. <br /><br /> <br /><br />I have used these resources a lot and after 14 years and seven kids, I still think they are the best of everything I’ve used or read (and I have read a LOT of books on this topic – help me!) J<br /><br /> <br /><br />http://www.doorposts.com/details.aspx?id=14 (this is a great tool for practical consequences. We had it taped up to the wall at one point)<br /><br /> <br /><br />http://www.doorposts.com/details.aspx?id=3 (this is a great “positive” balance for the chart above.)<br /><br /> <br /><br />http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Make-Count-Three-Heart-Oriented/dp/0972304649 (This is one of the BEST books on parenting I have ever read. She just gets to the point in a “real” way and with humor. I revisit this one every six months or so when we need a ‘tune up’)<br /><br /> <br /><br />Hope that helps some. Keep smiling and know that just being diligent and PRAYING daily are worth so much. All kids act ornery sometimes. It’s how you handle it that counts.<br /><br /> <br /><br />BlessingsThomas Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05385997148235545558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6906241439681463427.post-41430159358789706352010-06-09T18:56:46.771-04:002010-06-09T18:56:46.771-04:00Hi! I loved your post on zero tolerance for whinin...Hi! I loved your post on zero tolerance for whining, bickering, etc.... can I ask how you implement this? I love the idea, but am not sure how to carry it through-Craig and Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08922601555671099757noreply@blogger.com